Cramps
by BlameTheCharmx3
Summary: Team 7 are waiting for Kakashi at the Bridge. Naruto's a complete idiot. Sakura's in major girl pain. And Sasuke's... Sasuke. :DD Humor. Slight Sasusaku.


_To start off my FF account. A Naruto oneshot. Go easy on me? Please? ^^ NOW! Prepared to be amused! (: ... Okay maybe not. Just tell me if you laughed, kay? _

_Yes... I do _**not **_own Naruto. Stop rubbing it in D;_

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"NARUTO!"

Said blond winced, flinching slightly away from his angry teammate, "B-but Sakura-chan! I didn't do anything!"

"You're loud, dobe."

The girl leaned against the railing of their favorite bridge and sighed. Her eyes closed, irritated, as she tried to block out Naruto's one-sided arguments with the Uchiha.

_Find your happy place..._

And she almost did. _Almost_. "Ughhhh." She turned around and placed an elbow on the railing, hand supporting her head. The other massaged her belly, hoping the pain would go away.

For a second, she was given silence. "Sakura-chan..."

Her emerald irises flashed at the disturbance, but spared him a glance anyways. "Yes, Naruto..."

The boy looked worried. _Really _worried. "YOU AREN'T PREGNANT WITH TEME'S BABIES ARE YOU?"

Sakura gaped at him. Sasuke smacked the blond's head, "You idiot. The whole town can hear you."

"SO IT'S TRUE!" He looked at them accusingly.

This time, Sakura bonked him on the head. "You _loser_!" She seethed, "We're only thirteen. Oh my Kami. _I'm_ thirteen. _He's _twelve!" For some reason, Sasuke felt offended by her tone.

He wasn't quite satisfied, "You didn't give me a straight answer." His blue eyes filled with hurt, "And here I thought, you guys loved me. After all we've been through!"

There was a moment of awkwardness when Sakura eyed the boys suspiciously, then slowly, the second male inched away. Naruto caught the movement, "YOU DOUCHE! AS A BROTHER, TEME! BROTHER!"

A giggle escaped her mouth, as a small, porcelain hand came up to cover her lips. It looked very lady-like. And both of her boys noticed.

_Gee, mood swings much?_

"I'm not pregnant, Naruto."

"Oh." He made a show of looking relieved, "That's good, wouldn't want another loser coming along before I even turn into a teenager." Naruto placed his hands behind his head in his trade mark position, "Plus, you're gonna be Mrs. Hokage Uzumaki! NOT Mrs. Teme Uchiha!"

Said Teme kicked the Said Hokage. "You're the loser."

The pain came back and Sakura rubbed her stomach again, grimacing.

"... THEN! What's the problem, Sakura-chan!"

She sighed, knowing that he can go on asking all these questions like a broken record. "Umm. It's cramps, Naruto."

"Did you over-train?"

_Oh my Kami. Him too?_

"No, Sasuke-kun." They looked at her, expectantly. "It's just. Er..." She tugged on her long, pink hair, determining how to tell them about the wonders of... _**That** time_.

"Just, Sakura-chan?"

"I-I'm bleeding, Naruto."

His eyes widened. "YOU ARE? WHERE? ME AND TEME CAN FIX IT!" Sasuke slightly nodded, agreeing.

She smiled, they just seemed so... innocent. It was adorable. "It's internal. So you can't see it."

"Really?" Sasuke asked, one eyebrow rising.

She hummed an agreement.

_Kinda._

The boys quieted down, thinking of ways to help. Sakura looked at them, curious, then closed her eyes. Suddenly, she was lifted and thrown over a shoulder. She saw blond. Naruto...

"I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL, SAKURA-CHAN! THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

"Sorry I'm la—

"WAIT! NARUTOOOOO!"

Kakashi blinked, freezing in mid-wave. "Naruto? Sakura? Where are you going?" The hyperactive-knucklehead was about to sprint.

Naruto turned around, and Kakashi caught a slight stain on Sakura's dress. Good thing she wore red...

"HOSPITAL, KAKA-SENSEI!" And he sped off.

* * *

They entered the hospital doors quite loudly. Naruto went up to the nearest possible nurse. "SAKURA-CHAN IS BLEEDING! SHE'S BLEEDING INTERNALLY SO YOU CAN'T SEE! TELL HER, SAKURA-CHAN!"

He turned around so that Sakura could speak to the nurse face to face. The girl was as pink as her hair, "Put me down, Naruto!"

"But Sakura-chan! What if it hurts more?"

"It wo—

"What if you start bleeding even more?"

"I won't, Na—

"YOU COULD DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS!"

"PUT ME DOWN, YOU IDIOT!"

Reluctantly, he did so.

There was silence. Everyone turned to watched. Naruto was worried. The nurse was amused. And Sakura was ready to kill her blond teammate.

Smiling sympathetically, the nurse said, "Miss, would you like a tampon?"

* * *

Kakashi and Sasuke entered the hospital just as the nurse replied.

The whole room was silent.

...

Then Naruto's loud voice interrupted it. "WAIT. WHAT'S A TAMPON?"

Sakura, as embarrassed as she'll ever be, smacked her forehead. She kicked Naruto in the shin and hissed, "Idiot..." Then stomped out of the building.

The blond ran after her, absolutely confused.

There was another akward silence before everyone went back to work.

Curious, Sasuke looked to Kakashi.

The older man chuckled, "Looks like me and you two are going to have a _talk_."

Sasuke waited for him to specify.

Amusement gleamed in his only visible eye, "About bees..."

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_FINISHED! ... And I'm absolutely certain you guys are curious. NO. I am not on my period [: Review?_


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